I sit in a spot of sun on this Spring day.

I am remembering…

It was dark when the call came.

It is Time,” she said.

My mind said “no.”

It was a five hour drive in the rain

And I didn’t want to go.


When I arrived at your bedside,

She was helping you breathe

as if you were birthing not dying

as if you were dying and birthing.

You need to tell him,” she said,

It’s alright to let go;

he is safe.”


Just a few days ago

I had helped you walk in the garden.

Look!” I said, “this tree is starting to bloom.”

You felt the blossoms with your hand;

You could not see

this tree you had tended for fifty years

again blooming in the Spring.


As you lay in birthing,

Your body small and curled

as if again a babe..

I felt your last breath

as you let go.

Your face relaxed

and lit with a smile.


I did the practical things.

I called my brothers who came.

You can’t stay here,” they said.

Follow us to a motel.”

I followed down freeways

around and around on ramps,

Until I was totally lost.

Then I went back

And made the couch my bed.

As I drifted off to sleep,

a golden warmth and love

wrapped around me.

Of course, you can stay here:” you said,

you are safe in your family home.”


I am remembering–

I spread flowers on the bank of the river

in the place where you were born,

where you rode logs down the river for fun.

You told me of a vivid dream.

you, who never spoke of dreams.

You ran free in the forest.

You were hunting

the forest beautiful around you.

your spirit eager and alive.


As I sit here in a spot of sun.

I see you running

you are running free

as you move without effort

into the Wild.

Still hunting.


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At Beltane we celebrate the joys of being alive! I fantasize flowers, May baskets, garlands, dancing in the sun! It is mid-Spring, after all. In this coastal rainforest, however, it is still chill and the rains keep coming. The garden is a bog—skunk cabbage pushes up in the beds. Yet, in a moment of sun, the forest glows with psychedelic green—oxalis, trillium, and fern return like old friends. Suddenly it seems that everything is radiant with new leaves.

In the old cultures, people believed that when we give each other love and pleasure, the whole Earth is pleased. Flowers bloom brighter; birds sing more joyously, and the body of Earth is fertile, for Earth is a living being and all her creatures are part of her body. The veil between worlds is thin on Beltane; Nature Spirits come close, waiting for the moment when we are able to see.

What does the power of Love bring alive in you? What growth does it engender?

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We are Children of the Voice

Born of the Holy Word

Shaped from the Breath of Cosmos.

Listen– and you will hear.

What will it say through you?


Sitting here in Darkness

I see the Dawn opening.

Between the woven branches of trees,

my voice sings out welcome

as Light grows.


Riding in my silver car

through the empty streets

we fly, my Husky and I,

singing our morning song.

Joy soars through her in howls to the sky.


We are children of the voice.

What is the song I sing?


Walking in the forest, I stand beside you.

Cedar” I say. And you say, “Come closer.

Touch my skin. Feel the strength within.

Can you hear my voice

singing in the wind?”




In the stillness

of the forest awakening

the morning bird sings.


In the stillness

of towns shuttered in fear

each evening doors open

Voices rise and bells ring

We are grateful!”

the people sing.

Sending out a web of Love

they weave it round the Earth

watching it strengthen and grow.


In the stillness

deer graze peacefully in back yards

dolphins swim in clear channels.

An eagle soars above me as I walk.

Remember. Remember.

What it means to be “at home.”


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A visitor came

Wearing a dark cloak.

He wrapped it tightly around himself

and spoke of what he saw–

All things gone wrong

disease and death and war.


Try it on,” he said

as he went out the door.

I did not want the darkness

I struggled with its weight,

but found he had left it anyway.

The heaviness fell around me.

I tried and tried to take it off

But it was only when I asked my Heart

What can I do to find you again?”

That the answer came.


Give me the Beauty that you see.

Let me hold it for you.”


Then I began to remember–

rain turned to rainbows by the sun,

new leaves shining in the morning light,

dogs running joyously on the beach,

people laughing and waving,

from a distance, echoes of love.


My Heart grew larger and began to shine.

I will weave a cloak from moments of Beauty

sewn with the golden thread of sun

and the silver thread of moon.

I will wear it lightly

so it flows around me

with the changing winds.


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(but Spring is not!)

Although we are joining in the community effort to not give the coronovirus a chance to spread, I would like to share with you the meditation that would have been the center of our planned ceremony. It is a “walking” meditation; that is, you let the words go through your mind as you walk through your day. And your day will, of course, always present all kinds of bumps and jolts, surprises, and– Beauty. The meditation helps you keep Balance while you go through the changes.

From the Navajo

Hózhó náhásdlíí’

Walking In Beauty (Blessing)

Today I will walk out, today everything unnecessary will leave me,
I will be as I was before, I will have a cool breeze over my body.
I will have a light body, I will be happy forever,
nothing will hinder me.
I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me.
I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty above me.
I walk with beauty around me. My words will be beautiful.

In beauty all day long may I walk.
Through the returning seasons, may I walk.
On the trail marked with pollen may I walk.
With dew about my feet, may I walk.

With beauty before me may I walk.
With beauty behind me may I walk.
With beauty below me may I walk.
With beauty above me may I walk.
With beauty all around me may I walk.

In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, lively, may I walk.
In old age wandering on a trail of beauty, living again, may I walk.
My words will be beautiful.

As you walk the Earth, welcome the return of Spring as life returns in a myriad of forms. Here at Wanderland, trilliums are budded; oxalis is opening on the forest floor; and the golden ears of skunk cabbage are tuned to bird song and spring breezes.

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